DR. SEUSS AND THE CROTCH

DR. SEUSS AND THE CROTCH

By Andy Weddington

Tuesday, 20 December 2022

Think left and think right and think low and think high, Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try. - Dr. Seuss

I take care of one dealing with Alzheimer's disease. 

Some days better than others - for me. 

The disease is not bothering them. 

Today one of those days that I am fine - with the Alzheimer's stricken and me but out of patience with the "sane" world. 

During morning coffee a retired friend sent photo of a Marine female staff non-commissioned officer clad in dress blues (fashioned after the male uniform) flashing a double 'shaka' hand sign complemented with silly expression. 

Formal event. Inappropriate? 

It'd never crossed my mind to so behave in uniform. 

A male gunnery sergeant, too in dress blues, in the background was not paying attention. 

Anymore that seems the way, leadership not paying attention.

Which explains a lot of the racy photos, especially Marine females advertising their wares - in and out of uniform, on social media. 

Inappropriate?

There was a day. 

When assigned duties at Ole Miss as Marine Officer Instructor more than three decades ago midshipmen behaved more professionally in uniform and most of the time when not.

I held them to a standard of decorum - respecting themselves and the uniform. 

I recall great days when a young Marine - and during tough trying times younger Marines reverently referred to the Corps as "the Crotch." 

For all the things young Marines were charged to do - from hardship to seeming nonsense - there was sentiment of pride. Without fail, they got the job done. 

So went the adage, 'When Marines stop complaining find out what's wrong.'

This morning I read article about Marine drill instructors (DI) and from some sort of social study the University of Pittsburgh is recommending the Marine Corps move away from the terms "sir" and "ma'am" (addresses of respect). 

I do not understand any of this nonsensical multi gender, binary, and pronoun bullshit.

Nor care to. 

Before starting first grade I learned to read courtesy of Dr. Seuss.

He a genius way ahead of his time. 

Driving about the county this morning - fittingly, the first stop the dump - I reflected on his wonderful books and wacky characters in the context of DIs, my time at Recruit Depot Parris Island nearly 40 years ago, and the University of Pittsburgh study recommendation. 

Typically, a recruit platoon (male or female) is trained by three DIs: Senior Drill Instructor "Brown," Drill Instructor "Jones," and Drill Instructor "Smith."

Now that DIs and recruits are integrated, any idiot can surely understand the crotch confusion facing a recruit.

With Dr. Seuss rests the answer.

Call the DIs (male or female): Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3. 

Problem solved.

Once upon a time, junior Marines bitched and moaned about "the Crotch."

Today, senior Marines are obsessed with 'the crotch.'

Rotten.  

It's difficult to imagine things getting more dicked up. 

But they will. Absolutely they will. 

Just as sure as there is One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. 

All to be sorted out in ... One, Two, Three, Four - War.