ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE 'BIG O'

ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE 'BIG O' 
By Andy Weddington
Friday, 30 September 2011


"The presidency has made every man who occupied it, no matter how small, bigger than he was; and no matter how big, not big enough for its demands." Lyndon B. Johnson (36th President of the United States)


The 'Big O'...

In the field of computer science the 'Big O' notation is useful in the analysis of algorithms. In other fields of study, though not sure about physiology and chemistry, it is used to estimate growth rates. Neither a  computer whiz, mathematician, nor scientist, I won't be addressing any computational aspects of the 'Big O' today. Nor any other day, for that matter. And, yes, in case you're wondering, there is a 'little-o.' Yes, really.

Where I grew up there was a popular music hall in the county called the 'Big O Jamboree' (everyone called it "the Big O")--live music on Saturday nights, family friendly, featuring local talent country and western and bluegrass acts like 'Earl Lynn & the Wonders,' 'Jeannie Long & the Jokers,' and a quintet of gifted  high school boys, with my brother on the 5-string banjo, called 'Showdown.' Once in a while the 'Big O' would pack 'em in with traveling acts--'The Lewis Family,' featuring 'Little Roy' on the 5-string, comes to mind. I think the Osborne Brothers appeared. There were others. I'd not thought of that place for years until penning this Comment. Good times. Good memories.

A few years ago I bought car tires at a chain called 'Big O.'

And some folks refer to a popular talk show host as 'Big O.' I don't if that moniker refers to her wealth, power, girth, or all of the above, and don't really care.

After drafting today's missive and settling on title, a caption of similar wording on a news website caught my eye. More on that later.

But enough mention of distractors, time to get down and dirty--to business.

So unable to resist temptation to partake in risque wordplay, and at the risk of making some uncomfortable to the point of being fidgety, for today a politically, possibly socially, incorrect straighttalk quickie--ala chapter outline--in American history that happens to still be in the making...

I. Campaign (~2007 - Nov 2008)

Hyp-nosis: City Slicker, with smooth talk, charm, and foreplay mesmerized hordes. Puppy love. Zombies elect. Celebration. Premature elation!

II. Election / Office (Nov 2008 - present)

Out-of-focus: 180 degrees out from steam-rolling, polished campaign--Administration can't keep it, campaign momentum--that is, up. Can't perform. Nothing works. Even pumping big money fails.

A-trocious: Money, and speeches with cliches worse than bar pickup lines, over and over, fail to stimulate. Form over substance. Leadership impotent. Country frustrated and angry--headaches, night after night (and day after day), go from bad to worse and worse still. No relief. Restless. Sleepless. Folks tired of getting screwed and laid--off from work.

Trick-a-nosis: President's sex appeal gone. Refers to dissenting fellow Americans as enemies. Shameful. Whipped out "red meat" (quoting pundits) to base. Referring to Congressional Black Caucus as "the conscience of the Congress," stepped up dirty talk (subtle race-laced and class-warfare rhetoric) with 'preachaman' flair--aping mentor, Reverend Wright--but stopped short of cursing, 'God damn those Republicans.' Preachin's not leadin'. The color blind president? The great lover--the great uniter? 

Prog-nosis: Halitosis. No more good vibrations. Hope and change and dreams dry up. Puppy love petered out. Desperation.

III. Re-election campaign / Election Day (Present - Nov 2012)

Ex-BHO-adocious: Ego, and more, shriveled. Frustrated, angry Americans--sick and tired of being petted and stroked--shun and deliver decisive, historic beating. Make that thumping or clubbing.

IV. Post-presidency (Jan 2013 - )

Diag-no-sis: "What happened, what went wrong?" Better question, "What didn't go wrong?"

V. Aftermath

Book deals: Autobiography / Titles: "Here Comes the 'Big O'" and sequel "Dreams of My Father--That Dried Up"; Biography / Title: "The 'Big O' That Never Came"

Customary erection: Presidential library(s)--Hawaii? Illinois?

Erectile dysfunction: Presidential library(s)--Kenya? Middle East?

So goes ins and outs and ups and downs of politics in America.

Oh yes, that eye-catching caption mentioned in the introduction? "Guide to the Ultimate 'Big O.'" What a difference shuffling a word or two can make. And adding context. But then again, sex and politics, they go hand-in-hand. Sorry.

As for "the" 'Big O' and the 'Big O'? Good luck. Dumb luck. And may both, grossly overrated, come and go.

And that is all I have to say, for now, about the 'Big O.'

Post Script

Speaking of the 'Big O'...

Tuesday I read Bill O'Reilly's (and Martin Dugard) "Killing Lincoln." Read this book! Every American, starting 5th or 6th grade, should read this book--not only for facts and depth into the murder of our 16th president but more so to remind as to what genuine love of country, public service, personal sacrifice, selfless and strong executive leadership, and humility is all about. It's a case study as to what we should expect, and demand, of our president(s)--frankly, from all leadership; period. Today we're being patronized. It's sickening. And it's unacceptable. Lincoln-likes are amongst us--but where? Where are they--he and she? Where? We'd better find them--soon.

Author's Endnote

Today, my brother fronts a bluegrass group called "Higher Ground." Based in Albuquerque, the award-winning band enjoys a huge fan base and radio play--internationally. He writes much of the music. And, though his strongest instrument is the 5-string banjo, if it has strings he can play it. Check out information and a link to the band's website here: http://www.highergroundbluegrass.com/ and posted lower left. The three CDs are fabulous! And more than reasonably priced--pick up one of each. Tell your friends. Oh, and he's a Marine and Sailor--earned 'Wings of Gold'--once flying fast-movers for our Corps and Navy. Semper Fi, Duke.