HERMAN, HERMAN, HERMAN--HER MAN

HERMAN, HERMAN, HERMAN--HER MAN
by Andy Weddington
Monday, 05 December 2011

"No adultery is bloodless." Natalia Ginzburg

Handwritten in fading black ink on a corner-curling, yellowing 3 x 5 index card, thumb tacked to a 1/2 inch wide edge of a wood shelf in a tiny grocery and bakery on a small Abaco cay in the Bahamas, is the wise adage: "The best defense is to not be there."

Implied: If there, you'd better get a lawyer.

Herman Cain was there.

Herman was there with Ginger White, and for more than 13 years.

Herman was her man.

Herman got a lawyer.

Herman told the public Ginger White was a "friend" he'd given money to help out with bills and such.

Herman told the public, repeatedly (before and after Ginger came forward), he'd never conducted himself "inappropriately" with anyone.

Ginger White got a lawyer.

Ginger White told the public Herman gave her lots of cash money, and romance, and never, in any way, treated her inappropriately.

Ginger White told the public she was not offered money to tell her story.

Ginger White told the public she is telling the truth.

Ginger White told the public, and produced phone records as proof, that she and Herman had had frequent contact the past couple of months (more than 80 text messages and phone calls during October and November).

What Herman did not tell the public was that he'd conducted himself appropriately but inappropriately with a woman not his wife.

Ah, the precision of language and the fine art of listening.

Herman's wife, Gloria, of 40+ years told the public she did not know Herman was Ginger's her man.

Oops!

Ut oh, is right.

Herman told the public Ginger was a friend.

But,

That's the end of the Herman her man story and Cain GOP presidential campaign--a Ginger snap.

Oh well.

Herman, Herman, Herman.

And finally, on a related front, rumored breaking news from the National Restaurant Association...

Tombstone Pizza announced, just in time for the holidays, a new extra dough, white ginger-flavored crust with 13 toppings from which to choose. They're calling it the 'Her Man Pie--No Lie.'

Who could make this saucy, cheesy stuff up?

Besides a pizza joint.

Post Script

That tiny grocery and bakery in the Bahamas has dozens and dozens of corner-curling, yellowing index cards tacked throughout the three short aisles, that offer all sorts of fun wisdom. A couple of other favorites, "Weather is here, wish you were beautiful." and, "A tattoo is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling."

I guess you could say Herman ran into some foul weather and was tattooed. Good grief.

Author's Endnote

On a more serious note, a few weeks ago I wrote commentary titled, "LYNCHING CAIN." Turns out Herman would hang alright; by his own hand, but he's still going down swinging--with fists--or so he said at his campaign suspension announcement last Saturday--where Mr. Cain also said he will not be silent and will not go away. Someone may want to point out the First Law of Holes to Mr. Cain--that is, when in a hole quit digging.

And so a lesson learned long, long ago applies yet again: Never be surprised by what anyone does just disappointed--awfully disappointed. Having lived a life in uniform under Core Values--Honor. Courage. Commitment.--and the Uniform Code of Military Justice (which holds military members to a far greater standard of personal conduct than civilians--e.g. adultery is a crime), Mr. Cain presents sundry problems related to the Core Values and leadership traits like integrity and character and honor and so on and so forth. Of course these breaches are more common than not in politicians--even presidents. And accepted. But that is not justification.

Mr. Cain president? No.