20 August 2015


by Andy Weddington
Thursday, 20 August 2015

"Testing oneself is best when done alone." Jimmy Carter

To keep a secret in Washington, D. C. impossible.

Breaking yesterday was news that as part of the nuclear deal with Iran there's a side deal that permits the Iranians to conduct self-administered inspections. 

That's the truth! 

A country with hostile government to the United States and all countries west vowing our (and Israel) destruction will inspect themselves (while building nuclear weapons) and report their compliance with whatever the agreed to parameters of the deal. 

Our president used the word trust.

Trust? The enemy? Without verification?

Some concept. 

President Ronald Reagan was of the trust school too but he included verify because it is in God we trust and all others we monitor and verify. 

Keep a secret in the Pentagon? Or at Headquarters, U. S. Marine Corps? Impossible too.

Early this morning it leaked that the Department of Defense is going to redesign, streamline, the more than three decades old force-wide urinalysis program. 

That is, with trust as the core premise, service members active and reserve, all ranks, will soon be self-administering the urinalysis program. The redesign will also apply to enlistees. 

Details are forthcoming. But known at this writing is specimen collection will not be monitored; no more chain of custody process; testing will be visual only; and self-verification completes the inspection. Recorded results must be maintained for 48 hours. And there is no reporting requirement.  

Secretary of Defense Ash Carter and Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus declined interview.

A spokesman said, "This is about doing the right thing. And besides, we're going to save a lot of time and time is money." 

The Chief of Naval Operations, hustling to a meeting, surprised by a reporter asking for comment to confirm the leak said, "It's going to go over great with our seamen." 

The Commandant of the Marine Corps was more thoughtful, "Look, this leak is disappointing. This is not the way we communicate with our Marines. Once the Secretary of Defense made the announcement our plan was to stream this news to the force. Now we have to deal with dribble - a drip here and a drip there. But, we're Marines and will shake it off and accomplish the mission." 

A stone-faced sergeant major who asked for anonymity said, "Well, piss on it. If we can trust an enemy who has sworn to destroy us to self-inspect their nuclear (weapons) program then surely we can trust our own, our Marines, friendlies mind you, to self-inspect so why not start with the urinalysis program. Trust, yes. But, remember, the first of our Corps Values is Honor. Now pardon me, I have to make a head call."

When Sergeant Johnny Johnson, USMC, a recruiter assigned to Recruiting Sub-Station, Leakesville, Mississippi, first caught wind of the news he thought it was a joke and laughed. When told otherwise and asked for comment he said, "Ooorah!"

The Department of Defense official announcement is pending.

Truthfully, that's untrue. 

But, nuts the times we live. 

That's the truth!

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