THE HOME OF THE BRAVE - BUYS TOILET PAPER

THE HOME OF THE BRAVE - BUYS TOILET PAPER
By Andy Weddington
Sunday, 15 March 2020

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. George Lindsey

America, home of the brave. 

Land of the free.

Buyers of toilet paper. 

Coronavirus - COVID-19 - is bringing out the best in some people the worst in others.

The best. An NBA player in Louisiana is going to pick up the salaries of workers that support the team. That he can afford to do so is capitalism. That he is doing so is humanity at it's best.  

The others. The toilet paper hoarders. First thought, has anyone else wondered the percentage (of them) Democrat; as the behavior aligns with their party psyche?

My wife dropped by the grocery store yesterday morning. For food.

She said the place crazy. 

The toilet paper wiped out. [Yes, pun on purpose.]

Not food. There was plenty.

Toilet paper.

I don't get it. 

Why?

Toilet paper is a convenience.

Nice to have. 

That's it. Nice to have.

On the other (wiping) hand, food is a must.

So is water.

Yet people are coming to blows over toilet paper. There was video of that happening on this morning's news. 

It defies logic.

Did the toilet paper manufacturer's marketers - not ad but(t) assmen- collude to scare the shit out of people? 

If so, brilliant!

Bravo!

I've read plenty about the virus from the "experts." 

Their math does not always align with their language. And I found just such a glaring error this morning in a piece written by a doctor. 

His sum was 2,500 (would require hospitalization) when the math, according to his language, should have been 500. That's a damn big mistake - 5X worth. Enough to frighten the crap out of people. Hopefully, he does not make akin dosage errors writing prescriptions.

How many people pause to confirm the accuracy of what they hear and read? 

And dump and flush the nonsense? 

Not enough. 

And especially when coming from (an) "authority."

A longtime Marine friend wrote me after I published "Explosion" on Friday. Great friend! He is a warrior in so many ways. He could not understand my cynicism. 

I felt his note heartfelt but hasty and emotional. To the latter, out of character. Though I do not question his position and concern. 

I replied - ala Abraham Lincoln - calm and civil. And a note in kind returned. We're friends. A disagreement over the temporary whatever-it-turns-out-to-be is not going to change that. He's not a toilet paper hoarder. 

Cynical is not correct. Rather, pragmatic as I see it. Things are what they are - not as good as we'd wish them to be nor as bad as they could be. And surely not as bad as (politically biased) media is irresponsibly alarming. They know panic sells! 

Calm wins! Every. Single. Time. 

Of all God's living creatures only humans did He gift a cerebral cortex - function: to think.

Think.

COVID-19 cannot think. But it can wreck havoc on humans who do not. 

Listen to and more importantly diligently practice the preventive measures outlined by scientists and doctors.

The simple behaviors of hand washing and keeping a respectable distance when in public are easy practices. 

Common sense says by doing just those two things risk of exposure is greatly reduced. 

If everyone complies we all benefit. 

And the models forecasting an exponential outbreak can be shit canned. 

This virus will crack and be behind us come Fall.  

Considering stockpiles of toilet paper, and mischief youth, expect seasonal models will forecast many a rolled yard on Halloween.

That trick an anticipated treat.  

To close on the home of the brave ...

Coming to mind is a childhood memory of juvenile lyrics to the theme song for the TV western 'Branded.' 

It went something like this ...

"Stranded, stranded on a toilet bowl,
What do you do when stranded
without a roll? 

Well, you fight like a man
and wipe with hand ... "

That's all the poop for now. 

To the guilty, quit obsessing on toilet paper.

Wash your hands!