OUR BARAK WHO ART IN WASHINGTON

OUR BARAK WHO ART IN WASHINGTON
By Andy Weddington
Friday, 12 June 2009

Theologians write of Him as creator. He is the omnipotent one—the overseer of the universe. He is regarded as all that is perfect in goodness and simplicity and whose existence is eternal. Faultless, He is beyond comparison to common man. He walks on water…

No, those descriptors are not…repeat…are not in reference to naval aviators—Sailors or even Marines. And that includes the Great Santini, Lieutenant Colonel Bull Meechum, who, as squadron commander, told his pilots to think of him as God. And though not God, Santini’s airmanship and no nonsense leadership motivated one of his lieutenants to raise a glass and eloquently toast their lionhearted skipper: “To the greatest Marine fighter pilot that ever crapped between two shoes!” In the Corps, he wasn’t God –but certainly god-like—at least among those who wear wings of gold on their chest.

And the descriptors are definitely not in reference to Barak Obama—no where near the greatest American president that ever crapped between two shoes. But you wouldn’t know that listening to Evan Thomas, a Newsweek editor. This week Thomas, on television and presumably while wearing shoes, remarked and I quote, “…Obama’s standing above the country, above above [sic] the world, he’s sort of God…”

Is it possible a professional journalist—supposedly an educated one at that—would consciously think such a thing much less utter the ludicrous comment on the air? Yes, apparently Thomas thinks it and he most definitely said it. Does he know something we don’t?

Perhaps Thomas has seen stigmata on our earthly savior? Maybe he’s caught glimpse of, if not felt, the aura of a halo? Maybe witnessed some sort of miracle? In that light, and just for clarification, reviving a dead automobile company does not count—that was done at our, the taxpayers, expense and with a king’s ransom; it was not divine intervention. And, by the way, it was stupid—akin to transplanting a vital organ in an unapologetic, unreformed alcoholic smoker; only on a far grander scale. Perhaps Thomas has been consulting with radical preacher men and devoted Obama apostles Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Father Michael Pfleger? Who knows?

What could explain the Thomas declaration? A few possibilities come to mind.

He’s…
1) been nipping from the stores of unconsecrated wine;
2) gulping the Jonestown Kool-Aid;
3) infected with JoBi (Joe Biden) disease;
4) cuckoo;
5) an idiot;
6) campaigning for anointment as an apostle;
7) not crapped and its backed up into his brain;

Take your pick. I’m going with 7.

Elevating Obama to God status is placing him in some pretty lofty company. After all, God is, well God. Followers believe Him to have created the universe in six days—rested on the seventh. Not bad for a work week. And He somehow managed to do it, and get it right, without union affiliation, czar oversight, or government intervention of any sort.

The Almighty’s work is going to be an incredibly tough act to follow. Forget the universe—it’s been done. No one likes a copycat. So, Obama should set his sights on simpler chores; something a little closer to home. Let’s see what he can do on a single planet—our home—earth; and start right here in the good old United States. The economy would be a good start.

The president has three and a half years to get something—anything—done that will strengthen our republic. Don’t hold your breath and don’t expect miracles—not even one. Especially since government intervention is proving to be the remedy of choice.

Oh, and keep a watchful eye on Evan Thomas—and the likes of him. For anyone wearing a “WWBD”—What Would Barak Do—wristband, if only figuratively, is damn dangerous; especially when constipated and with multiple channels to opine to an enormous audience.

Dear God, your sane American children, stomping around in galoshes and armed with shovels, are pleading—we can handle knee-deep but before we are overwhelmed in crap, help us. Please. We need a miracle and in the worst way—soon. Lord, hear our prayer. Amen. PS “Semper Fi to the Great Santini.”