THE DEAD KING'S SPEECH

THE DEAD KING'S SPEECH
by Andy Weddington
Sunday, 02 September 2012


"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech." Mark Twain



Well, the Republican National Convention is over. What a week, trimmed to a few days, it was! Now our soon-to-be new president and vice president are criss-crossing the country with their vision for restoring America's greatness.  

Yesterday afternoon, while drafting a commentary about that convention week and America's promising future, I received a Tweet from a stranger. It read - "Colonel, check email in 30 minutes."

I continued on with writing until the half hour passed and then checked email. 

The text read: "As mentioned on Twitter. See attached." - and attached was a Word document named "BHO remarks." 

I thought it was a joke. 

The email address - an alias from a hotmail account - was not familiar. My first inclination was to trash and delete without opening; as with all unrecognizable email. But because of the notice I opened the document.

I was, well, speechless. Incredible!

It was final draft (with marked text) of Mr. Obama's looming Thursday night speech before the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina - accepting the party's nomination as candidate for President of the United States.

I read it - sat and thought a few minutes - then read it again more closely. How could this be?

I called a couple of contacts in high places. They were flabbergasted when I told them about the Tweet and email. After sharing a few lines they confirmed authenticity. Anxious, they wanted to know my intent. I told them I wasn't sure - needed some time to think but that I'd let them know.  

What to do with this stroke of good fortune?

For a couple of hours I gamed options, and consequences. It was not an easy decision to go public.

But in the end civic duty trumped privacy. Besides, after thinking about the White House's propensity to leak sensitive material jeopardizing our national security, all in the name of political gain, why not? Indeed, why not!  

Of course, leak it. Of course. I so informed my contacts. They gasped but didn't try to talk me out of it. Maybe it was one of them who sent the Tweet - maybe.  

The RNC comment in draft will have to wait.

Without further delay, Mr. Obama's planned remarks...


"Thank you. I thank you very much. (applause pause) Thank you. Thank you. I... (applause pause) Please, take your seats. My... (applause pause) Thank you. Please... (applause pause) Thank you. Thank you. I thank you very much. (applause pause) Please, please take your seats. I Thank you. (applause pause) 

Thank you. Good evening...

I accept your nomination as our party's candidate for President of the United States. (applause pause) Blah blah blah. I blah blah. I blah blah, I blah blah blah. I blah. My blah blah blah - blah blah. I blah! (applause pause)

Let me be clear... blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah I blah blah - blah blah- blah blah I blah, blah blah golf blah blah (applause pause). Now, blah blah blah blah. Blah! Blah me blah blah blah; blah mine blah blah.

I blah blah blah. Yes we can (applause pause) blah blah me blah blah I blah blah blah. My blah blah Islam blah, blah blah blah. My hope blah blah blah blah. Blah blah beer blah blah blah? I blah blah blah blah. Change blah blah blah blah. (applause pause)

My blah blah blah blah. Change blah blah blah blah. Birth certificate (applause pause) blah blah blah. I blah blah blah! Blah! Let me be clear, blah blah blah blah blah -  I blah blah.

They didn't build that (applause pause) blah blah blah. I think blah blah blah blah blah. You are entitled (applause pause) blah blah. Blah I blah blah damn Fox News (applause pause) blah blah Hannity blah. Me, blah blah racists (applause pause) blah blah blah. No, blah back in chains (applause pause) blah blah Joe blah blah. Yes, punish our enemies (applause pause) blah blah Romney blah blah blah.

My hope blah blah Hollywood blah blah. Bush's fault (applause pause) blah blah blah blah blah. I have done a good job (applause pause) blah blah blah did not communicate enough (applause pause) blah I blah blah. Blah blah acted stupidly (applause pause) blah blah blah.

I blah blah shovel-ready (applause pause) blah green blah my blah blah. Hate blah blah blah. Let me be clear blah blah blah our friends in Russia blah. Clearly, blah blah blah debt blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah shout out  (applause pause) blah blah blah.

Forward. Blah blah blah health care (applause pause) blah, blah blah blah. I blah blah not a tax (applause pause) blah. I blah medicare blah. Blah blah black blah blah I blah blah stop complaining, stop grumbling, stop crying blah blah - blah blah! Quit whining blah blah blah - blah.

Not my fault (applause pause), blah blah. I'm smart (applause pause) blah blah. My blah blah bailout (applause pause) blah plan blah blah blah. Blah blah blah more stimulus (applause pause) blah blah. I blah blah my blah blah rich pay more (applause pause) blah blah. Blah blah blah I blah blah blah; blah blah.

Remember, vote for me, (applause pause) Barack Obama - the sort of black guy - the guy who killed bin Laden (applause pause) Blah blah I blah, blah blah blah blah my blah. Me, me, me. Me! (applause pause)

And me! (applause pause)

My Nobel prize (applause pause) blah blah I blah. Heal blah blah blah recovery (applause pause) blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah blah. I blah blah! I blah blah blah. What can I say? Blah blah oil spills, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes - I couldn't get a break (applause pause) blah blah blah me.

And it's Bush's fault!  (applause pause)

Thank you. Blah blah, I blah blah blah.

May God bless me, myself, and I. And good night." (applause pause)

Exit stage left.

 

Someone, anyone, call a corpseman!

Post Script

The dead king's obituary coming 07 November.