06 October 2011


By Andy Weddington
Friday, 07 October 2011

"The magician and the politician have much in common: They both have to draw our attention away from what they are really doing." Ben Okri

A week or so ago, during his regular 'Miller Time' bantering with Bill O'Reilly, host of Fox News Channel's 'The O'Reilly Factor,' comedian and radio talk show host Dennis Miller declared his support for GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain. The amiable, quick-witted, no nonsense Miller, who's oft times bizarre and colorful analogies are usually riotous, said he liked Cain's folksy straighttalk way and that he's actually accomplished something in the real world and has an original and interesting plan to lead the country. For his final laugh, Miller suggested a slogan for the Cain camp: CAIN vs UNABLE.



So thinking about Mr. Miller's idea I reviewed speeches--videos and transcripts (for the president pre and post election)--by both men; took a still closer look at backgrounds; read--a lot; recalled interviews and debate performances and comments made by "experts" (e.g. analysts, advisors, pundits, critics, dopes); and summarized the president's dismal performance in office. Then, sat and drafted a soundbite laundry list of comparisons--something to put truth, objective and subjective substance, to the differences between the men; one aspiring to the office the other, by any measure of fitness, should not retain.

In truth there is humor. And in humor there is truth--much truth.


Us / I
We / Me
Reflects / Points
Self-starter / Teleprompter
Self-sufficiency / Dependency
Works / Hopes
Worked for dreams / Dreams of father
Labored / Won lottery
Thick resume / No resume
Thick business resume / No business resume
Led Godfather's / Thinks he's God
Deep dish / Thin skin
Shoveled pizzas / Shovel ready
Spread the sauce / Spread the wealth
Led Burger King / Bows to kings
Worked for Coke / Did Coke
Pillsbury / ACORN
Green / "Green"
U.S. Navy / Community organizer
Big league / Ivy league
50 States / 57 States
Common sense / Nonsense
Humble / Pretentious
Genuine / Artificial
Likeable / Aloof
Leads from front / Leads from behind
Speaks plainly / Preaches in hyperbole
National Baptist / Reverend Wright
Takes responsibility / Makes excuses
Problem solver / Problem
Solves / Blames, apologizes
Math degree / Math deficiency
Computer science / Junk science
Worsted wool / Teflon
Feet on floor / Feet on furniture
Makes money / Wastes money
Beat Cancer / Smokes
Substantive / Superficial
Hands on / Hands off
Doer / Pontificator
Uniter / Divider
Self-made / Manufactured
Crushed Hillarycare / Obamacare
Character / Characters
T. Boone Pickens / Bill Ayers
Capitalist / Socialist
Philanthropist / Narcissist
Motivator, inspiring / Scolder, demoralizing
Godfather's Pizza, Coca-Cola, Pillsbury, Burger King / Solyndra
Wildly successful / Monstrous mess

Etcetera. But that's 50! A good and appropriate stopping point.

CAIN--born and raised immersed in the American experience and spirit. He oozes it.

UNABLE--born American conceded but a turbulent childhood--formative years lived here and abroad coupled with a broken home and the influence of contemptuous 'mentors'--that short-circuited critical imprinting of all that's American. Aware of or admitted or not, there's a void. It's obvious. And not correctable.

The only commonality between these two? Dark horses, self-declared, for the office.

And a little more...

UNABLE: "We're the country that built the Intercontinental railroad."  Barack Obama (during a speech a few weeks ago)


Excuse me?! That would be the "Transcontinental railroad" and it's construction fabulously told in Stephen Ambrose's book, "Nothing Like It in the World--The Men Who Built the Transcontinental Railroad, 1863-1869".  And, oh by the way, if not for the ingenuity, courage, perseverance, and sacrifices of cheap Chinese laborers it'd not have been realized; at least not as quickly. Nor would we today be able to so cheaply enjoy access to the global electronic highway were it not, at least in part, for the Chinese. And on top of those 'debts' we owe them, the Chinese, trillions? There's irony in there somewhere. Perhaps an Intercontinental bridge is not beyond their making. So, was that speechwriter, cross-checker, proof-reader error; innocent misspeak; teleprompter misread; a subtle challenge; or the only other possibilities--ad lib hiccup, ignorance, or stupidity?

CAIN: "Stupid people are ruining America." Herman Cain (recurring theme in speeches)

Yes, Mr. Cain, stupid people are indeed ruining America. Sadly, as the cigar-puffin', Scotch-sippin' king of standup sarcasm, Ron "Tater Salad" White, believes, "You can't fix stupid." If he's right, and the world around us as empirical evidence seems to indicate he is, we have a problem--big problem. What are we to do?

UNABLE: "Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or a politics of hope?" Barack Obama


Politics of cynicism? By who's definition? We know hope doesn't work--it never has and never will.

CAIN: "It's time to get real, folks. Hope and change ain't working. Hope and change is not a solution. Hope and change is not a job." Herman Cain

Yes, Mr. Cain, you are correct; again. It's time to get real--past time to get real. Hope and change is not a course of action. And anyone that's worked and earned their place in the real world damn well knows it.

May our country's fate not be decided by the stupid. Let's leave that to the cynics--the wrongly accused, the disdained.

Political hacks and media naysayers, not without pets and agendas, believe, to their chagrin, Mr. Cain though an impressive candidate to date (can't dispute debate performances and straw polls), is "not electable." "Not electable"? Not sure what that means. Nonsense. Stupid.

As suggested recently to a young relative, a little giddy about soon becoming of age to vote, en route to bed one evening after brief discussion about politics and stressing to her politicians are neither stars nor royalty--they are public servants, temp hires, who work for us, nothing more...

"Sleep well. Vote responsibly."


Gary, Jon, Michele, Mitt, Newt, Rick, and Ron who?

And who's best qualified to be president?

I read "This is Herman Cain! My Journey to the White House" this week. Recommend. His an interesting and inspiring story of a self-made man realized the old-fashioned way--through hard work; he earned it. A serious man, who does not take himself too seriously, that merits respect and to be taken seriously as a candidate for the presidency. Mr. Cain is what government by, for, and of the people is all about. Surely he represents what our Founding Fathers had in mind. And what is wrong with that? And why are some, of his own color, calling him offensive names? Incredible. Sad. Shame on them--the stupid.

This is not the time to outline qualifications. Nor is such a conversation even necessary considering the outcome of the 2008 election--where qualifications and experience proved irrelevant. Suffice to say Mr. Cain, by any definition, has extensive executive experience--at least in the business world. And you don't get to the top in that bloody arena without being a smart, hard-working, successful, risk-taking leader, and, yes, a politician. No previous elective office? So what.

The number 45, ever popping up in Herman's life, may be foretelling. Geez, who knows, I wrote this Commentary on the 4th and 5th. Weird.

I opened with a cynic, make that terrific comic, Dennis Miller, so as brethren cynic and so-so comic will close by offering an intriguing complement to his sane choice...


Post Script

Book link: 

Herman Cain campaign website: http://www.hermancain.com/

Author's Endnote

There's another GOP presidential candidates debate on 11 October. Tune in. See for yourself. And no, it's not too early to engage--to get informed.

If you missed the politics Commentary posted a week or so ago, you may find it entertaining. http://acoloneloftruth.blogspot.com/2011/09/pols-and-potato-chips-fight.html


Bruce said...

Brilliant, Colonel ... simply brilliant:) I'm sorry, however, that I disagree with your inclusion of anti-gun, pro-amnesty, pro-abortion Chris Christie as Cains VP selection. Herman would never select a "progressive Republican" like Christie as his running mate.


A Colonel of Truth said...

Well, Bruce, everything needs balance. We don't need clones on the ticket. He may have contrasting positions but as VP not the wielding power to change. Yet, the huge cohort smitten with him get a chance to better assess and decide if he's still their man in 2016. Plus, with him would likely swing NJ, NY, PA and maybe others. Not that the election should be close but Murphy and stupidity are always hovering. Will be interersting, certainly entertaining, to see how it plays. Laughing would be nice if it weren't so darn serious.